Friday, December 21, 2007

A tribute to the godfather...and interplanetary funksmanship

Oh yeah, put a glide in your stride and a dip in your as we prepare to land the mothership.

The P-funk connection is in full effect as we pay homage to the godfather of funk, the immortal George Clinton.

He whom presides over a nation of funk, one nation under a groove, the great Dr. Funkenstein, dedicated to the preservation of the motion of hips.

So if you concentrate and focus the funk in your junk, you just might land the mothership. But have your boarding passes ready because the ship has limited seating. Only those who are down with the funk are permitted.

Enlightenment is eminent if you free your consciousness and feel the rhythm and the rhyme.

After the mothership comes you better be ready to ride, because it’s gonna tear the roof off the mother…

Put your tray tables in the upright and locked position as we prepare for takeoff. If you look out the window you’ll see the eminent Atomic Dog. Then The P’s mortal enemies, Sir Nosedevoidoffunk and the ominous Maggot Brain, will try to ground the ship but if you’ve achieved proper funk enlightenment they will be defeated.

With the help of the Funkateers, Uncle Jam, Starchild, Bootsy’s Rubber Band, and Bootzilla, we will reclaim the pyramids…because no one is too cool to dance.

Free your mind and your ass will follow because mother earth is pregnant a third time.

Starchild, armed with his bop gun, shall bestow funkentelechy upon humanity, ridding us of the stench of unfunkiness.

So we journey to Atlantis, a place where you can swim under water without getting wet, where Mr. Wiggles will return the funk to Sir Nose, who dances the aqua boogie.

And as always we return to the side of the godfather of funk, George Clinton. Motown spawned this creative genius as the New Jersey native dropped a bomb on our musical consciousness that would resonate to seismic proportions.

In the late 60’s early 70’s Clinton convened the Parlaiment-Funkadelic, truly a cosmic convergence. And the denizens of funk were whipped into frenzy.

Such ground-breaking musicians as Eddie Hazel, Bootsy Collins, Michael Hampton, and Bernie Worrell fueled a musical revolution that would stoke the fires of rap & hip hop, 80’s funk, alternative (particularly the Red Hot Chili Peppers), and modern day R&B.

There’s a reason why this group of funkaholics were inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 1997 and have been deified as one of the best bands of all time by every publication from SPIN Magazine to Rolling Stone…they are that damn good.

As we bring this ride to a halt we train our eyes to the speaker system and pray they don’t blow. Put on Cosmic Slop and crank it to a truly righteous level as this is the only way to properly pay homage to one of music’s true pioneers.

Put a glide in your stride and a dip in your hip…because nobody is too cool to dance.