Saturday, January 26, 2008

You've got to be kidding me

Seems an enterprising law maker in New Mexico wants to tax video games and televisions to reduce childhood obesity.

In other news the United States Congress has announced a plan to reduce illiteracy by mandating Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan attend community college.

Another plan was introduced to curb the national debt; Congress will seize the proceeds from the sale of Amy Whinehouse and Lohan's drug paraphernalia.

A highway beautification bill was introduced wherein Hillary Clinton will not be allowed to ride in a convertable with the top down.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Testicle Tuesday...Descent into hotness

As an unabashed fan of horror movies I gleefully await new homages to carnage on the silver screen. It's one of my vices, especially if there is an all female cast. So when The Descent ushered in a new concept of ass kicking hotties spelunking in a Hell's Cauldronesque cave repleet with demonic hordes bbent on canibalistic festivities I became giddy with anticipation. So here is my tribute to the cast of The Descent.

Shauna McDonald

Natalie Mendoza

Nora-Jane Noone

Saskia Mulder & MyAnna Buring

Alex Reid

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Testicle Tuesday...foursome from heaven

I've never wanted to be a piece of cotton adorned with a Coca-Cola label so badly in my life...thank you Carrie Underwood.

Amy Dumas, aka Lita, was the best and only reason to watch the WWE circa 2000.

I defy you to find a more hypnotic pair of green eyes than those possessed by the gorgeous Amanda Peet.

She's tall, athletic, and goofy. A near perfect symbiosis of hotness and personality. Hello Cameron Diaz.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008


In honor of Waterboy's B'Day, and as per his request, I bring the TT All-Time Top Ten.
Note: As Selma Hayak is now our patron saint, her visage has been retired from the pantheon of Testicle Tuesday.

So here is the TT Top Ten...

10. Demi Moore, Waterboy's opus, has been an uber hottie since the days of Saint Elmo's Fire. Waterboy's dying wish...tobe Ashton Krutcher for a day.

9. Rachel Hunter was a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model and star of the now infamous Stacy's Mom video.

8. Jennifer Lopez first appeared opposite Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson in Money Train and was married to Ben Afflek and now Enrique Iglesias.

7. Scarlett Johansson is a curvy tour de hottness.

6. I would drink Kate Winslet's bath water.

5. Super model par excelence, Gisele Bundchen.

4. The only knock on Jennifer Garner is her doofy husband.

3. In 50 years when historians look back Halle Berry will be compared to Marilyn Monroe, Sophia Loren, Helen of Troy, and Nefertiti as one of the hottest women in world history.

2. Mandy Moore may not be known for her acting skills or ability to pick a decent script but her beauty is unassailable.

1. The highest compliment I can pay the gorgeous Kate Beckinsale is to say she has been considered for image retirement from TT as an homage to her stunning perfection.

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Ringing in the New Year with...


I've selected a few uber hotties for their, um, hotness. Who doesn't like nubile lasses who enjoy strutting their stuff on camera and in next to nothing.

Lena Headey has starred in 300, and The Cave & Imagine Me And You

Wherein she shared a romantic kiss (actually several) with best friend and fellow hottie...
Piper Perabo, oh ye of Cayote Ugly fame.

Keira Knightley is just smokin in the Pirates of the Carribean movies.

Rachel Weisz has turned in one sultry performance after another since her debut in The Mummy.

As a public service I pledge to once again make this a weekly feature, as Billiam and Waterboy seem to like TT very much, a little too much but who am I to judge.