These stories are true...I swear

A former gay pornographic movie producer, Marc Schaffel, is suing Michael Jackson for $3 million. Schaffel claims that Jackson is in material breach of contract stemming from millions loaned to the King of Pop for extravagant spending sprees which included Bentley and Rolls Royce cars, a $600,000 gift to Elizabeth Taylor, a $1 million appearance fee for Marlon Brando, and $500,000 so the reclusive pop icon could sequester himself and his family. Before becoming part of Jackson’s inner sanctum, Scaffel was most famous for producing gay porno’s such as “Cocktales” and “Man With The Golden Rod”. All contracts in question between Schaffel and Jackson were…oral…in nature.

Seems now PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, is urging people not to eat fish. The following is a verbatim quote directly from PETA’s web site, “Fish are interesting, intelligent animals who feel pain, use tools, and have impressive long-term memories and sophisticated social structures. Fish are friends, not food.” This also from Dr. Sylvia Earle, “I never eat anyone I know personally. I wouldn’t deliberately eat a grouper any more than I’d eat a cocker spaniel…You know, fish are sensitive, they have personalities.”

The following is a headline also from PETA’s site…"Giant Tampon Stops Flow of Traffic to Protest Painful Menstruation Experiments on Animals”

From Sao Paulo, Brazil -- A family's Rottweiler killed a man Tuesday after he came home drunk and began beating his wife, police said. The attack took place when Renato Danesei Neto, 55, returned to his home and began arguing with his wife and beating her, police said. The dog intervened, jumping on the owner and biting him on the neck until he died. Relatives said the couple had frequent quarrels and the dog always defended the wife, 51-year-old Valeria Bernadete Danesi. (Note to self: Kill dog first)

This from the September 9 edition of the Pensacola News Journal…A man who told deputies he was trying to shoot his seven puppies was wounded when one of the animals caused his gun to discharge, the Escambia County Sheriff's Office reported Wednesday. Jerry Allen Bradford, 37, of the 4700 block of Rigby Road, who was shot in the wrist by a .38-caliber revolver, faces felony animal cruelty charges in the incident that occurred Monday, the Sheriff's Office said…From September 20-“Pistol Packing Pooch Survives Hurricane”- Remember Trigger, the avenging puppy who shot his owner as the man was about to turn the same gun on him and his three siblings? Trigger survived Hurricane Ivan and is faring well at the Escambia County Animal Shelter with a sister and mother, Sadie.

According to the Las Angeles Times, California is considering a by-the-mile-driving-tax system. Under the current proposal the new tax would replace a 18 cent-a-gallon gasoline tax already in place. The new system would require California drivers to fit their cars with a mileage tracking device that would meter the miles driven then beam the info to a GPS satellite.

From Sapa-AFP-London - More than 25 percent of married couples in Briton have lost one or both of their wedding rings since tying the knot, according to a survey released on Tuesday. Researchers found that 15 percent of brides had lost their original wedding ring, with one in 10 grooms also admitting to losing the traditional symbol of eternal love and commitment. Nearly one in five brides also owned up to losing their engagement ring, according to the survey of 1 500 couples for Prudential, a home insurance underwriter. The most common time for a ring to go missing was within two years of wedding day, according to a third of the couples. Nearly one in five said they lost their rings after 10 years of marriage.

NONE OF THE PREVIOUS STORIES WERE FABRICATED IN ANY WAY!