Somewhere Babe Ruth is smiling

The Boston Red Sox have won the World Series for the first time in 86 years. The chants of “1918” are no more. The most infamous hex in sports, the curse of Babe Ruth, has now been lifted.

My world doesn’t make sense anymore. There were three things in life I could count on; the sun would rise in the east, the French would continue to be…well…French, and the Red Sox would break the hearts of million of faithful fans. I’m now convinced the world will spin off its axis at any moment.

The death toll in New England will be catastrophic. Do you realize how many elderly Sox fans were hanging on until they witnessed the lifting of the curse of the Bambino? I hope Boston area hospitals will be able to cope with the massive numbers of coronary patients who will have been driven to palpitations by the sight of the World Series trophy in the hands of the Red Sox.

RUN FOR THE HILLS! THE END IS NEAR!